Lord knows I have other things to do right now, but, in between trying in vain to turn a bot into an out-of-office-responder for Twitter (bad idea) and trying to get another one to generate Markov chains from Indy’s lines in Raiders of the Lost Ark (and avoiding the necessary paperwork to support a course of mine shortly to begin), I thought what the hell, let’s write a new Indiana Jones movie.

I mean, hell, it couldn’t be worse than Crystal Skull, right?

And when I say ‘write’, I mean, ‘get the computer to write it’.  I have docker-torch installed on this machine. If I had any kind of GPU, I’d get better results, no doubt. If I had more patience and let it run for a day or two, I’d have better results. If I fixed the weird spacing issues in the training data, I’d have better results. If I removed the character names and replaced them with their trope (the hero, the sidekick) I’d get better results (I started to, but got impatient). And yet, there still feels like a movie in here…

I couldn’t remember how to use torch-rnn of course, but fortunately, I’d left a (fairly coherent) note to myself from a previous experiment (my NaNoGenMo entry). I needed at least 1mb of training data, so I grabbed the scripts from Raiders of the Lost Ark, Temple of Doom, Last Crusade, Goonies, and the Mummy (that had Brendan Fraiser in it and which was good. There, I said it).

And so, model trained, I sampled…

th sample.lua -checkpoint cv/checkpoint_17050.t7 -gpu -1 -start_text "Peru 1985. The sky is black; dawn is a short while off. THE-HERO creeps through the jungle, alert, wary." -temperature 0.33 -length 20000 > data/adventure.txt

Peru 1985. The sky is black; dawn is a short while off. Indy creeps through the jungle, alert, wary.

DATA:
Ressent.

THE-HERO
(to the standle)
Yes. A belt and the rocks and the part
there, with the Grail Mamian gun’s a
fall like me. There’s a small.

MARION
Is move to a fall behind the
the chest with kicks onto the other shouts around the book of the strange
redely did the bar and the perishing his which
comes to the looking at the bottom and start —

THE-HERO
I can’t be the back to a could.

THE-HERO
That’s not rock. Indy.

THE-HERO
(stuff around the tents.

MARION
It’s your as some on the book of his
of the truck and the
and who looks at the light moves a head
look with a scream and begins to the falls of the screams,
out up. The reading sees
myself and the hell of
something side and who an and the terrified.

CUT TO TUNNEL – DAY

The cleansed and she are stares in the craters and a head as the Maharajah walks over the gold as he sees a mination is a silking to his mouth and Marion. He looks in the candle blanker.

Belloq and Short Round closes a door behind falls at Willie crashes a piles around the staring of the torch of the stairs. Indy pulls into the other back and staff the little come and tears like the car below and sees the altar and both sees wall and looks to push the wall and shoulder on the statue of the shild we guys looks and are exceman first pears and grabs his feet of the sand. The room. He room for her and stand here.

THE-HERO
It’s not the other (grabs him).

THE-HERO sucking up to begin to about to leave the door and wants to a let it. Indy takes the pit and head of the ship into the water and a falling face shipts out to see the back and she are back of the reaches a gains, his feet enter toward the car of the car and she victions and starts to his glass to the table. The other shoots of while begins across the stand severently his smiles begin to the tunnel of the stone blowing with a real stops into the beneath of his arms and carry on the boat on the can and the know. The canding his climb to the first stone some glows the Short Round and Marion is only seem over the tank and heand darks creaches over the lift the boys. Indy dammers from the ship, and smashes and sees the conficers and starts to the places and sees and puts the truck climb start and make enters the hits the candle.

THE-HERO
We got that you see the light conds of the passes a room.

SHLIEMANN
I got a sits behind the stalled a will believe been to see
way and the perishing a man to deep, when
falling the gun of the car stop of the
the brake something
of the sails all see in the car Short Round.

~o0o~

Fun, eh? The weird spacing that scripts insist on really screw this up. Maybe I’ll give this a shot some other day, after tidying all that kind of thing up.

Featured image Allef Vinicius